What once was.

He walked towards me I thought. I looked left and right, but no one was there except me. He came closer; I could see the smile he had on his face. I stood there breathing in the saltiness of the ocean; wrapping my arms around myself to keep me warm. He stood inches away from me; I could see his eyes glimmer under the moonlight. A strong wind blew and I moved closer. The ocean made loud scary waves, but all I could hear was my heart beating out of my chest. He looked me in the eyes; I looked down towards the sand. He came closer and lifted my head up. I looked deep in his eyes. He pressed his warm lips on my forehead; it felt as if I was showered with hot water. He wrapped his arms around my waist; I gave in and kissed his lips softly. We stood there under the moonlight pressed on each other for a long time.

He breathed out, “I missed you.”

“Don’t leave me again, please.” I whispered back.

He held me tight, “I’m not leaving anymore I promise.”  He stroked my face and I closed my eyes, letting all my senses take him in. I stuffed my face in his chest and suffocated myself in his scent, a mixture of Marlboro and Fierce. The only sound I could hear was the sound of our heartbeats. I felt his warm breath on my neck as he held me close in his arms.

“I can’t live without you. Don’t go again please.” I whispered.

He whispered back, “I’m always going to be with you.”

He pressed his lips on my forehead, and we stood there for what felt like years with the wind blowing through my hair and his lips moving around my face. I opened my eyes to take a look at him. I was disappointed. I found myself staring at my white ceiling. I prayed that what I saw was real. I turned my face to look at him, but instead I found his bedside all made up. He was never here. He was never back. Now he’s gone forever. I felt hot tears run down my cheek. I moved to his side and stuffed my face in his pillows, hoping I’d find his scent still lingering on the sheets. I closed my eyes and cried myself back to sleep, so I can dream and see him again and again and again.